Sometimes when people feel that they are not receiving attention they begin looking for love. However, looking for love can be a matter of perception, as what we see as positive love signs are associated to our own personal perspectives. It is true that people often find themselves looking for love in all the wrong places, which could have a lot to do with their viewpoints, as those viewpoints may be skewed.
It might be necessary for us to take the scenic rest area exit off of our life's busy freeway in order to more accurately determine the positive love signs in our relationships, or to ponder the future love perspectives in our lives. Sometimes we are not clear on what we are really looking for when it comes to love. Often times people are looking for love that fills some emptiness inside of them, and sometimes, they end up with love falsehoods based on those very desires.
In relationships, couples often miss the love that they are looking for due to narrow perspectives. We often tend to view love in our relationships much as we do the other things going on in our lives. People tend to focus on the ten percent that is negative so intently that they miss the 90 percent that is positive. Couples often focus on each others imperfections, putting those things they don't like about their mates on platforms, as if those things were some kind idols. Occasionally due to their own narrow perspectives they look to outwardly fill the areas within themselves that they "feel" are being missed by their partner. Sometimes this ends up costing them a valuable relationship.
What we tend to focus on can end up being our own personal downfalls. Many partners in relationships end up looking for love in the wrong ways when they "feel" as if they are not receiving love in their existing relationship. They risk and damage the relationships they have on some whim that tells them that greener grass can be obtained in a different pasture. Only to find out that the next pasture has imperfections just like the previous one. This is why couples need to stop and think, they need to alter their focuses and pan out with wider angle views in order to see the already existing positive love signs.
No matter what pasture you are in, you are going to find some dung, and if you are not paying good attention, you are going to step in it! The dung represents the 10 percent of the relational pasture that people focus on when their personal perspectives are off base. People look to avoid the dung in the fields, but they zoom in on the dung in their relationship. What is it going to take to alter the focus, to tune into a different channel in our minds? Why are we trying to make our partners be dung free, when we carry the same amount that they do? Just because you do not want to look at your dung, does not mean that it does not exist. You will stop being judgemental about your partner when you accept that you too have shortcomings, that you need the grace of your partner. You can have a tango dance of love if you quit doing the tangle!
We are in a society that is training us to be performance driven, it attempts to push us into perfections that we are not capable of and then we dump those same unrealistic expectations upon our spouses. As humans we are not flawless, we make mistakes, we are prone to error, and we trip over our own toes. Dung happens! When we are looking for love in our relationships we need to be accepting the imperfections of our mates and loving them in their imperfections. Love is the thing you do that does not count the negative 10 percent against your partner. Society is so busy trying to hold you accountable for your mistakes that it suffers from a severe lack of compassion, understanding, grace, and forgiveness, which by the way are all qualities of love. Because of this illusional model of perfectionism that has been placed upon us, we then try to hold our partners, and ourselves at these unreasonable and unobtainable levels of achievement. This is not saying to be irresponsible or immature, (there needs to be balance), it is saying that there is a severe lack of grace in our society and our relationships. It's time to cut each other some slack, give them a break already, you might need some relief yourself ya know?
When you are looking for positive love signs keep in mind that you can't give what you don't have, and neither can your spouse. So instead of counting against them the things that bother you, learn to love them, overlook those things and refresh your browser! Change your perspective of things, get a to a higher viewpoint, a more inspired viewing point, and get a wider scope. Dwell on the things that are positive in your relationship, in most instances it's the narrow view points, the 10 percent angle views, that makes a relationship to be perceived as dung filled. Consider asking yourself this question; is it possible that my perceptions and interpretations are inaccurate due to my own thinking mannerisms? There are many good things about your spouse, we need to learn to count our blessings. When you do this, the love you are looking for may very well be standing right there before your eyes.