Character is defined as the inherent complex of attributes that determine a persons moral and ethical actions and their reactions. So it is your character that defines you, it is in the circumstances or situations that your character is revealed. Your character, as well as other peoples character, will be revealed within the context of relationships. How you treat others, how your emotional responses are, how you handle various situations, and the choices you make will reveal your character.
There are many different levels and types of character. There is the road running character, whom, when under pressure takes the quickest exit out of most situations. There is the Yosemity Sam character who blows up and throws a tantrum when he doesn't get things his way. There is the Lucy character who lacks wisdom and makes poor choices on a regular basis. There is the Wacky duck who is envious and holds bitterness against cute better mannered rabbits. And then of course there is the superman and wonder woman characters, (just to name a few).
So in the perspective of characters, how might things turn out if Lucy has a falling in love accident with Sam? Lucy does something irresponsible, and Sam, because of his lack of control and unresolved inner issues, vents a boiling of anger. The maturity and character levels of both are revealed within their relationship. Wouldn't it be best to first gain crucial character insight about someone before sleeping with them, and then being overcome by your I love you after having sex with you feelings?
The point being made here is that it is imperative that you take the time to see where a person is at in their life journey before you sleep with, move in with, or get married to them. This is not to say that you look for someone perfect, you won't find such a character. Nor does it suggest that you hang up your marriage because you are just now realizing what character you are married to. See, that would say that you lacked character in your choice and decision making to point that kind of finger at your partner. One thing it is saying, is that you have the ability to improve upon your character, thereby changing and improving your daily and relational outcomes.
Character will develop by obtaining wisdom and gaining understanding. Before you can understand where someone else is at, you must first understand where you are at. This is the look in the mirror journey that many people look for the off-ramp, before they have even considered the on-ramp. Illusioned characters think they are perfect, or they don't wanna admit that they are not perfect. Those of more noble character will take the path of humility and begin to find out what they did not know. The humble characters choices will improve by means of increased wisdom and personal understanding.
Have you ever considered that their are things about you that only other people can see? Like your car rearview mirrors, you too have blindspots that you are unaware of. Left unresolved, these blind spots in you continue to be personal hinderances. The person you are in relationship with, or married to, can see things about you that you can not. This does not mean that they should beat you up with your imperfections, but they can be pointed out in love. Now some people react as if they are being beat up, when they are simply reacting out of their desire to preserve their egos. They might say things like; "you are judging me, you're not supposed to do that". That is their prides defense, it's far from having a humble attitude, and it impedes their growth.
Whatever your relationship context, you will reveal your character to them, and they will reveal their character to you. You will both have perceptions of one another that will gain in accuracy over time. Is this making some sense to you? Does it sound like you should first do the math before you do the nasty equation? Can you really afford to have a accident called "falling in love"? For most people that equates to falling into temptation where they took their clothes off and then called it love after the faX. Think about it, does that sound like a strong foundation for a marriage relationship? It is important that you are able to discern character, but in order to do this, you will first need to be humble enough to view your own.
Maturity and character will be revealed and defined within crisis. When the pressure is on, how good are you at handling it? Could your reactions to adversity be improved? Do you allow your emotions to control you, or are you in control of your emotions? Are you easily angered? Do you look at things as if they are happening to you, or as if there is personal increase taking place? Do you understand that the greater the constriction, the greater the expansion? What kind of character do you want to reveal to others? Have you considered that your character is what will either qualify you or disqualify you from higher levels and/or positions? Look down your road, where are you now and where do you want to go?