(If you are in a physically abusive relationship you should seek safe refuge and assistance.)
The best way to fix your marriage relationship is not by you trying to fix your spouse. You can not change others or otherwise fix other people. People do not change until they are ready to change. Depending on your situation, you may very well be learning that you need to love them where they are at, not where you want them to be. Too many people are so busy trying to fix their spouses into conforming into their standards, that they forget what it means to love them. Interesting, so who might be the one in need of fixing? Besides that, did you ever get a guarantee with your marriage that said they were perfect? What about you, are you perfect? Do you think you might have some fixing to attend to? All too often couples are so busy finger pointing at one another that they miss the fact that they may need to turn that pointing finger around and point it at themselves. It takes two to tangle, there is not a single relationship on the planet that does not require some character development on both sides. Nobody is ever 100 percent at fault in a problematic marriage. You both have made choices at some stages of the relationship that have gotten you to where you are at, it’s time you took ownership of that.
We have compassion for those who may be separated and are hopeful towards your desires for reconciliation. It’s imperative though that you have an understanding that if someone reacts with anger towards you, it’s probably
from a hurt they have, and if they have a hurt, it’s because somewhere inside of them they really care. Sometimes though people don’t want to deal with those hurts, they don’t want to take ownership of the issue or thing that has
caused them so much grief, and you can not force them to. If you overbear them, you are likely to push them farther away, so be gentle. The more you grasp for it, the more you mess it up. Faith grasps for God, seek Him with all your heart……… if you truly want help fixing your marriage.
You can not fix your spouse, nor can you try fixing your marriage on your own, seek counsel, get help, obtain wisdom, guidance and understanding. Be humble and be willing to bring yourself into alignment, accept and admit your faults and weaknesses. By your own actions you can be a shining representative example of what needs to be done. Take the lead by showing that you are willing to grow, to compromise, and to make changes in your character. Don’t allow stubborn pride to get in the way of your love. Coming to a threshold and crossing it involves anxiety, don’t let fear get in the way of your future, emergence is on the other side.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Fuse this love advice into your relationship.