Rule #1 – Refrain from developing bitterness and resentment for each other. Bitterness and resentment may develop when one person feels they are unfairly carrying the burden of the relationship, or when one partner feels that the other partner has hurt them in some manner. Communication is always a key in relationships, couples need to learn to communicate in a manner that their consort will understand, and at a level of maturity that does provoke bickering or hinder growth. Issues need to be talked through, and couples need to be willing to compromise for one another, as well as for the relationship. Consider developing an attitude that puts the relationship itself in the forefront, you are now entwined as one.
Thoughtfulness: If you consider how much time you have during the course of a day, I bet you could find some time to think of your spouse. You could think of all the things you appreciate about them, and how you would like to communicate your love to them. You could think of something you would like to do with them, for them, or just to surprise them. Even if you are often busy and on the go, you can find time to consider ways to love your spouse in thought. After that it only takes a little thoughtfulness to bring your desire into reality. Ask yourself this question; What have I done lately for my wife, (or husband), because I love her, (him), that I wanted to reciprocate or express my love for them in a manner in which I knew they would enjoy? You ever notice when one person tickles someone, the other one wants to tickle back? Have some fun together, life if far more than going to work and paying bills.
What about the millions of little things you could do or say to improve their day? You can always look for safe sensible things to do that will lighten your partners load around the home. Helping them with their burdens may very well help you both have more time for togetherness. Every little considerate thing you do will convey a message of loving intent. Guys, you can always be perceptive enough to make sure there is paper on the holder or thoughtful enough to pick up and organize things, (especially if those items are yours). Be on the lookout for loving opportunities that will convey your care, concern, and love for your spouse. Take the time to verbally communicate to them what they mean to you and how much you love them. Always acknowledge them in fashion that makes them feel special, never demean, degrade or belittle your spouse, words have the power to cut like a knife. Always consider what your behavior is communicating to your mate, Love Builds Up. Please repeat those last 3 words until they become embedded in your mind, in your heart, and in your spirit, Love Builds Up! Keep in mind, the information you store in your brain is what you will later access in situations. Love Builds Up.
Too often people go around looking at the ten percent of things in their lives that are not going well, and they miss the 90 percent of things for which they are fortunate. Perspective is a choice, what you choose to dwell upon will greatly effect your entire attitude. Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
He who covers an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
Out of love you can choose to overlook spilled milk, both partners have imperfections, those blemishes are opportunities to promote love. In many relationships there is far too much made out of trivial issues. Stop making big deals out of petty issues, move in love beyond fault finding, proceed towards a loving togetherness.
A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Communication is significant in relationships, both mates need to be able to voice their thoughts, concerns, and feelings in a mature healthy manner. There are important topics that will need to be discussed, and because the partners are both human, there will be areas of disagreement. Both spouses should be able to communicate their opinions in a loving respectful manner. These situations open the door for understanding, compassion, and compromise. The problem is the solution, within these discussions are more in depth connections between the partners, and opportunities for each of them to communicate love for one another. Couples are learning more about each other, and gaining in their abilities to reason and compromise in their love for one another.
To maintain a happy joyful marriage, seek to incorporate these love guidelines into your loving togetherness efforts.