Fear based mentality is usually fight or flight, people either fight due to their fears or they run away from things because they fear. Sometimes people are running from their own insecurities, they are running away do to their personal lack of self control. Everyone goes through tough times in life, we all get stretched out beyond our normal measure. But those circumstances are not going to rule our lives, not unless we allow them to. You can choose not to allow any situation to railroad you into personal and relational destruction.
In turbulent times, such as economic difficulty, we lose things, such as our jobs, our houses, and our cars. This is often reflected by emotional distress and conflicts between couples. People often consider their security to be rooted in materialism and/or their bank accounts. During these trying times couples either grow stronger together or they allow the adversity to overcome them, and the relationship suffers. The truth is that their real source of their security is in relationship; Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
A couple is better together than they are apart, at least when they are there for each other. This requires otherness and love, we must be capable of focusing on the needs of our partners. If the only thing a companion does is focus on themselves, their wants, their pains, and their loses, both will suffer. Too many people are caught up in the cultural thinking that says; we have to have a nice house, nice cars, upper level occupations, and big bank rolls to be successful. None of those things define you, however your ability to love each other during defining experiences will reveal you.
Sometimes we must go through a shrinking period before expansion can occur. When a bush or tree is pruned back, it grows back more abundantly. Often times that which we consider to be loses are actually significant gains. Adversity reveals your capacity and enlargement is increased in distress. The more you are squeezed, the more expandable you become. We need to be able to shift our thinking from what appears to be out of control, to knowing God is in control. It’s not so much what is happening to you, it’s what is happening for you. Romans 8:28; And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
You are urged to keep up your courage and to make a fundamental relationship decision, decide right now that you are sticking together with your spouse, through thick and thin. That you are going to be strong and assume the role of encouragement for each other. Choose to remain steadfast when opposing winds blow against you and your relationship. Be determined, based upon your fundamental decision, to be there for one another and avoid the typical cultural stereotyping that says success is in what you have acquired. Success is acquired through the essence of love. For our present troubles are small and won’t last long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Do not allow money, materialism, foolish cultural opinions, or lack of emotional control to take away your most significant asset, your relationship. When your life comes to an end, all our acquisitions will be nothing more than fluff, but the love you shared will last forever. Relationships are all about the sharing of love and sticking together. You want your partner to rise up for you in your time of need, so you need to do likewise. When your partner is on the edge of uncertainty, draw closer to them, stimulate them with words of faith. Send doubt and dismay packing, refuse the negative, and exhort the positive. Support your wife, encourage your husband, they need to know that you believe in them, and you both need to know that with God all things are possible!
They are joined one to another; They stick together, so that they cannot be sundered. Job 41:17