Speaking words with love requires us to first think and process our thoughts in accordance with loving intentions. Words of love can be filled with feelings of compassion, with affirmation, encouragement, wisdom, and truth. Our words can also be harmful if they are not carefully considered and spoken with love. Words of love are initiated out of love, loving words build up, enlighten, uplift, and encourage intellectual or moral improvement. Caring people speak words of love through compassion, by way of understanding and truthfulness.
Words of love are also represented by the tones of our voices. Soft tones bring gentle vocalization, which is pleasant to listening ears. Calm speech soothes, consoles, and comforts, it is quiescent, marked by a state of tranquil repose. The more pleasant sounding our words are, the more loving they are, and the more they will be received. To subdue our words means to compose them with thoughtfulness, and then speak them softly.
Speaking words of love often requires us to be honest, truthful words, spoken with love, can be liberating. We sometimes need someone to tell us that we are erring in our ways, love does not hinder or enable poor behavior. However, love does bring truth with thoughtfulness, love is gentle and kind, it is not rude. Love speaks the truth with compassion, not with cruelty, and love listens by way of humility. Sometimes it is the truth that people resent, not necessarily the manner in which it was spoken.
Quite often we are unable to accept honest words of love from the people who are closest to us, from those we love and respect the most. Perhaps we have some misguided beliefs that love never says the words that benefit those who listen. If we already think we know it all, we certainly must be perfect. The obstructions to the honest words of love descend from unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem, (unhealthy pride). You know the truth, I know the truth, but you are not going to admit it regardless of the way it is spoken, and regardless of the ramifications. Humility will save far more relationships than will dishonesty, and prideful reactions are sources of fire.
Loud boisterous words are like clanging the bell, they lack in restraint and discipline. They are turbulent and will only agitate irritations. When people use rough boisterous words they are likely cause pain, bring about frustration, or initiate fear within their partner. Words of this behavior are unfriendly and are likely to cause anger or resentment. Once someone has been hurt, frustrated, or has become fearful, they will be more prone to emotional reactions.
Reactions often govern our words, we often allow our emotions to do our thinking, as well as our speaking. Folks open their mouths and allow words to come off of their tongues that are often damaging and hurtful. When people get angry they speak without control, because they are out of control. Being in control requires us to be able to bite our tongues in order to avoid unwholesome talk. Many couples allow grievances to control them and their conversations to a point where their words are directed like they came from a sharply honed arrow. In their anger, they allow themselves to fire word weapons with pinpoint accuracy at each others hearts. Have you ever watched a couple of young children bicker?
We are accountable for our words, surely you have said some words that lacked love, and at some point you wished that you could take those words back. We have got to be thinking before we are speaking. We can not take back inconsiderate words. Thoughtless, mean, and degrading words only tear down, and render our speech fruitless. Negative words in relationships will only kindle fires of destruction, bitter words will provoke bitterness. Instead of allowing our pain or anger to speak for us, we need to control ourselves, control our emotions, and let our minds do the word processing.
Understand that other people will get emotional, our character is defined by our responses. We can be understanding, humble, and compassionate, we do not have to react as others act. Speak to others as you would like to be spoken to and you will save yourself a lot of grief. Let the words in your relationships be filled with love, thoughtful, and respectful. Be kind, use words of edification, wisdom, encouragement, and motivate others with softly spoken words of love.
Instead, by speaking the truth in love, we will grow up completely… Ephesians 4:15
The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. Proverbs 13:3
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
By a soft answer wrath is turned away, but a bitter word is a cause of angry feelings. Proverbs 15:1
Whoever has knowledge controls his words, and a person who has understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27
Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32 (CEV)