Husbands your wives are altogether wired with interwoven parts. You can not look at women as if they were men and expect to fulfill their love baskets. Women have different emotional needs than men do, so to outwardly express affection to your wife or girlfriend requires that you meet her at the level of her emotional needs. Since she is more complex, you will need to ascertain the ways that she needs you to love her. Initially this begins by communicating with her, which is, by the way, an area that many men overlook.
When you open a door of communication with your wife or girlfriend you are expressing love by showing her that her feelings and emotions matter to you. There will be times when she just needs to know that you are paying attention, that you are listening. She does not need you to give her all the answers to the things she is talking about, she needs you to be attentive with your focus. You can not be attentive to her needs while reading the newspaper or watching the television. She needs you to put down the newspaper and turn off the television so that you can focus on her. Her thoughts and feelings should matter to you, so listen for her feelings and be there for her as she needs you to be.
Husbands your wife needs to know that she is the apple of your eye, verbally express to her how beautiful she is, and make the most of your opportunities to let her know that you love her. Instead of blowing her a kiss, go embrace her with one. Take notice and compliment her on the things she does and the way she looks. Take some time out and go appreciate her, watch the effort she puts into making a meal sometime. Making dinner is not just a wife’s job, it’s something she does out of love. Recognize some of the loving traits in her that you may have become all too familiar with and have lost appreciation for. All those little things add up, you are able to notice those things and should be voicing your gratitude, edify your wife.
Most men are heavily driven by hormonal desires, that’s right, you want to have sex. All too often guys are so focused on their desire for their own physical fulfillment that they miss meeting the needs of their spouses. Husbands take some time and enjoy the friendship you have, enjoy the person you say you love, go have some fun with them. Get to know your wife at a cohesion level where you know the kinds of things that she enjoys doing, and then turn off your self interests and show her a good time! Have a romantic dinner and then walk hand in hand along the beach, understand that she is a responder, she is going to respond to your level of affection. Initiate togetherness in a manner that allows you to both appreciate and enjoy each other. Intimacy will come, but it’s not the source of your relationship. The source of your relationship should be love, and within that love should be the significance of otherness. It’s not how do I get my rocks-off-ness.
Many husbands go to work and forget what they have at home, they loose sight of the relationship that’s most important. Many men become too easily consumed with their focus on the job and they stay wrapped up in their work too long. Guys you have a great talent that enables you to focus well on doing one thing, but you need to be able to turn the channel from the "work channel" to the "my family matters most channel". The most important things in your life are not things, they are people, your relationships are the most significant "things" you have. Don’t neglect your spouse or your family, they need your affection in their lives. Take a moment and imagine what it might be like if you came home to an empty house. Sometimes people are not able to appreciate what they had, until it’s no longer there.
…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart… Proverbs 27:9
How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves. Song Of Songs 1:15
Love and faithfulness keep a king safe; through love his throne is made secure. Proverbs 20:28