What is a good wife? How do you know when your wife is a blessing? For many men, it’s when they realize the treasure that they have been given through correspondent observation. For many women, it’s when they understand their role within the partnership. What is a wife? A simplistic definition of a wife is; a married woman; a man’s partner in marriage. So a wife is a partner, and a partner is defined as; an associate who works together towards common goals.
No a wife is not something a man takes to fulfill his own desires, nor is a wife just a title after she says I do. In Genesis 2:24 it says; For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. They shall become one flesh; sounds like partners, they have now become united. They are each others companions, each others best friend, each others lover, and each others support, (assuming they work in unison).
When a husband and a wife are joined together there is unity. Unity is a state of togetherness, wholeness, and completeness. It’s a tandem working in harmony. A tandem is described as a group of two or more, arranged one behind the other, or used or acting in conjunction. So a wife is a half of the unity. Husbands, wives, are you seeing this? You are not to be acting separately toward your own personal goals, but to the benefit of the whole. You can not operate together with singular intentions. This brings up the question, are you working together in your relationship? Honestly answering this may give you some insight into any dysfunctional areas of your marriage.
For cognizant realization of what a good wife is, and how you can distinguish how well a wife plays her role we can look to what God says about a good wife. First a word of caution here; wives, don’t try to live up to all these things, you are not perfect, and husbands don’t expect perfection, but instead look for areas of congruency. Starting with Proverbs 12:4; An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. It says that a good wife is the crown of her husband; behind or along side of every good husband is an excellent wife, (there is that partnership again). Furthermore wives, your husbands want you to stand beside them, showing respect is one huge way of showing your love for them. Proverbs 31:12; She helps him and never harms him all the days of her life. As it says in Genesis, God made man a helper and called her woman, she is to be working with him, as it says in Ephesians 5:22-23; Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. Sometimes this verse is taken out of context, in some versions it says for the wives to be submissive to their husbands. Warning this does not mean that the husband is given free reign to control, manipulate, or abuse his wife by any means, he is to love her, for this is a partnership. Ephesians 5:33 says; Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
When a man understands what a good wife is, he sees the beauty of her. Wives, notice what it says in 1 Peter 3:3-4; Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. Too many women have become captive to secular thought burdens that say that beauty is all about outward looks. Ladies your true beauty will radiate outward from within you regardless of your external appearance. As it is said in Matthew 23:26; First clean the inside of the cup, so that its outside may also be clean.
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels, (Proverbs 18:22). What is an excellent wife? One who has some of the attributes within this message. Proverbs 18:22 says; He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. A wife is meant to be a cooperator, not the operator or non-operator. With a co-pilot two can better navigate toward common goals, and in cooperative motion, the pilot and copilot may switch off as needed for the better of the whole. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11). A husband and wife are joined in a cooperative partnership where they are to work in togetherness through love.
In Psalm 128:3 it says; Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. A good wife is like a fruitful vine, she flourishes within the home, and cares for the children. A good wife is a blessing, as it says in Proverbs 31:11; Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. A good wife speaks well and highly of him to all she comes in contact with! Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. A good wife is a loving wife. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Proverbs 31:29-30).
Husbands, does your wife do things out of love for you? Let me rephrase that, are you noticing the things that your wife is doing out of love for you? If you look intently, is she fulfilling some aspects that enrich your life or that are in cooperative alignment with the needs of everyone, including yourself? I would venture to say that sometimes we take things for granted, and we miss the blessing we have in the wife or husband that God gave us to cherish. Yes, there are some exceptions to this, but much of the time it is due to the lack of healthy perspectives, is the cup half full or half empty?